thoughts right now

i'm listening to my newborn squirm in his crib and try fitfully to get back to sleep. the two older boys are watching television, a tactic for "me time" i swore i'd never revert to...ah well, i've done lots of things i didn't intend to, television time being relatively harmless. briar is at school. finally. i mean FINALLY. the first week she was out 3 of the five days, only to miss this tuesday after the long weekend. this morning she dressed herself in jeans and a long-sleeved tee, much to my dismay and frustration. see, i'm irritated (read: infuriated) b/c i bought a slew of hip skirts she readily approved in the store and now refuses to wear. since when did she become a tomboy? long weekend...how did we spend it? ryan started building a shed on our dream property of 10 acres that currently has no house, just some trees and berry bushes. the kids and i attempted to entertain ourselves, though we longed for hikes in waterton or at least playtime at the newly renovated henderson lake playground. but alas, the wind blew. it blew and it blew and it blew. we took lunch to daddy and uncle fritz, grabbing frantically at our food as the wind relentlessly tried to scatter it across our pasture. baby hen and i stayed inside the confines of the van and watched warily as char and j navigated the weeds, powertools, and discarded blocks of wood. i then took my tiny entourage shopping, an exercise in patience i promptly failed. we headed home to create our special: "back to school feast/family home evening" (borrowed from amy, borrowed from someone else - thanks amy!) and i bravely, but maybe not so nicely, attempted it alone. i wonder, how well does the message of christlike love and example sink in when mom is snapping? after we finished the entree and were preparing to do some formal reading related to our theme, briar puked all over the bathroom. she tearfully watched her brothers eat the ice-cream i purchased for all of us to celebrate with...she got it, but it still hurt.