favorite new game

my kids' favorite new game involves baby H and the high chair.  around here, i do short little bursts of speed-cleaning that involve frantically whipping through the dishes, running down to the laundry room, furiously sweeping, and otherwise wiping, folding, tossing, etc. at lightening speed. not that my house is ever really "clean", but this just keeps it a step above slovenly.  digressing: i totally agreee that myself, my husband and my children deserve a clean and healthy home that is beautiful and peaceful.  but that ain't usually how it works out unfortunately.  so, back to the eldest olivers' new found delight (read: crazy-making for mommy).  henry's new high chair has these amazingly quiet and quite steerable wheels.  my children love practical jokes.  combine the two and we have a nifty game called "where's henry?"  the first time it happened i almost started to panic...i was loading the dishwasher/talking on the phone/munching/sweeping while hen slapped his toys on the high chair tray.  jacob trots into the kitchen and asks (very convincingly, esp. since i was a little distracted) "where's henry?" and i look blankly around the kitchen.  bouncy seat? nope. but i swear he was in the kitchen.  (the high chair is a relatively new fixture still, so it didn't occur to me that it was missing).  so then i really start to wonder where he is...proppped on the couch about to fall off, still in the van in his car seat, and on and on.  "i don't know" i said, genuinely surprised and a little concerned. that lasted for maybe 2 seconds until briar started giggling and wheeled him back in.  that was the first time.  it's happened a few more times, and i fall for it - every. single. time.  i have this moment of where did i forget my baby, and then the knowing giggling begins.  little monkeys.

lofty ideals

before i was married i was a sanctimonious "i have better things to do with my time than watch television" kind of girl.  i filled my days in class, studying, reading, hiking, biking, working, chatting, dining out, etc.  i watched "films", generally those of the foreign slant, and prided myself on my upscale taste in literature and non-existent knowledge of current pop culture as portrayed on the tube.  then i got married and with our lovely little shoebox of an apartment came free satellite.  still, i was busy and rarely home...we went to yosemite, yellowstone, bryce & zion - any downtime was spent cruising looking for spots to explore and hike.  i had a bun in the oven faster than you can chide "but weren't you using birth control" and suddenly i was calling in to work, missing classes and spending a lot of time lazing on our awesome dingy apple green couch with black wooden finials - it looked a little like crushed velvet and was a lowrider.  it was seriuosly sweet vintage...
anyhoo, on went the tv: suddenly i was exposed to law & order several times a day. i discovered "charmed", pausing to take it in b/c their theme song was a cover of one of my all-time favorite smiths' songs.  i watched witches battling demons, chefs fine-chopping shallots, detectives examing remains in Central Park, and i loved every second of it. i watched and i gazed and i stared, until my eyes were bleary and my head felt fuzzy. 
then my daughter was born, and once again my time was spent elsewhere. again, i became self-righteous and waxed philosophical on the evils of television, especially as far as children are concerned (you can bet i was watching whatever i could get at night, though, even though we only had 3 channels at the time).  i was horrified at the prospect of sitting my child in front of a television to watch mindless drivel that was also exposing her to electromagnetic energy.  we resisted and didn't even miss it, even after my first son was born.  then, quicker than you can ask "how old  was your baby?" we were once again with child. kids' cbc became my salvation; i think i may have actually muttered prayers of gratitude for cartoons created for the pre-school set. "poko" was my blue-haired buddy, too.
what's my point?  tv can certainly be a time-drainer and it's tough to find something of intrinsic value.  but it also kept my children safe, literally, when i was pregnant and sick.  they were enthralled and would not leave my side as i slept lightly on our bed as long as the tv was on. there have been days in their lives when i could not drag myself out of bed, and they were babysat by the backyardigans.
sometimes i wonder how i've gone from a "kill your television" bumper-sticker brandishing kind of girl to one who gleefully plans sunday evening around "the amazing race" and "desperate housewives".  lately we've been feeling the need to break out the uno cards, or something.  but for parents of young children tv can be a lifesaver, a  fun diversion and a stress reliever.  and i, for one, wonder what in the world is good to watch on a wednesday night when my little one is sick and only wants to nurse.

a few

of my favorite things today:

1. the back of a baby head/neck, especially henry's.

2. the fact that i was dressed, groomed and feeling pretty when the fortis man (electric co.) arrived to change out our box.  and no, i didn't even know he was coming! i was even wearing jewellry :).  there is something to be said for early-morning meetings at the school, even i if i arose before i like to. 

3. a fesh bag of frozen berries that cured me of my headache...so fresh i could still pick out the raspberries.  after the fist use, we usually have none left, even with a costco-sized bag.  try as i might to convince my children that it does'nt matter what berry plops out into the bowl, we all know it does.

4.  a husband who knows how to properly wield an ice-scraper, and thus save us from being late to aforementioned morning rendezvous. 

5.  my electric fireplace ryan gifted me for christmas: it makes us feel cozy and close, especially when poring over the scholastic order together. 

6.  ebay - i have found some items recently that i've been searching for for a LONG, loooong time. i have a long-standing love-hate relationship with ebay.  currently: adoring it - yipeee!  now, how to raise the funds sufficient for these lovely baubles and convince ryan of their absolute necessity.

7. reitmans' clothing store - i fought shopping there for many years (okay, only 7, when i started getting christmas gifts from my mil after we got married) because it just seemed so, ummmm, old...i've made sporadic purchases here and there, but today i am thankful for the stretchy-waisted (not elastic, mind you, but something that works akin to that dreadful stuff without sacrificing style) dark-wash "jeans" i'm wearing because they make me feel like my bulges are once again curves...and my stems don't look like tree-trunks. 

guess how much

"Mom, I just don't know how much I love you, I love you so much..."this coming from the lips of my precocious, darling, four-year old son moments after he patiently, gently counselled me with: "Mom, next time you see me come into your room in the middle of the night,  tell yourself this -It means I need a drink of water and milk, water first, and cold - in your head so you don't forget." Snakey expresses such adult-like wisdom at times that I feel like the child at his feet. He knows me well enough to recognize both my forgetfulness and dislike of criticism, so he gets what he wants while remembering to be kind. Yet moments later he allows me to carry him like a much younger child, his legs encircling my waist, head tucked under my chin as I accompany him to his room.  "But remember...did you tell yourself in your head so you don't forget?" He just popped back into my room to dispense with some friendly advice.  We also have a special smile - it means: Love you forever and ever, Mommy and Daddy. This is the same child who relentlessly goads his younger brother into a fist-fighting frenzy almost hourly, expertly wielded a steak-knife upon my newly re-upholstered dining room chairs, (covered with very expensive oilcloth i ordered all the way from portland, or), leaving them with nearly 30 uniform slits between 2 chairs, ignores "no" repeatedly while looking ryan and me in the eyes with a knowing smile, and frequently manages to cut his own hair with childrens' scissors.  Ahhh, my heart overfloweth...

wii?...oui!

what is it about exercise that makes me feel so darn fabulous?  i know that after only a few weeks of working out every other day i can't possibly be looking any better - and i know i haven't lost a pound (or even 1/2 of one - the melodious, kindly voice of the wii lets me know every time i step onto the balance board how svelte i am not).  BUT, i feel like i look bettter because all of those lovely endorphins are running around my body, energizing me and helping me sleep better at night.  though i do agree with my jaded and ever-so hip elder brother that nintendo is definitely cashing in on the whole "fit" concept - like calling something "all natural" and expecting people not to read the ingredients and figure "i'm good", it's working for me.  i've heard some diss it, with comments like: just get off of your butt and go run.  but, really, i don't have time alone from my children to do those sorts of things unless i want to do it in the dark, and the freezing cold.  i don't own a treadmill or a membership to a gym.  i'm also not in shape like i used to be - so any movement (aside from hoisting my 25-lb 5 month old around) is a calorie-burning wonder.  and folks, take it from someone who has been doing yoga off and on for almost 15 years - if you do it right, it works.  just yoga.  admittedly, it's kind of pathetic that i have to have a computer connected to a miraculous little balance board (how DOES that thing do what it does, really?) to actually do the yoga instead of just on my own.  but the sight of my plump little mii and the snarky little comments does just the trick for me.  i feel accountable. 

grateful? check.

i was roaming around the blogosphere, and happened upon "a good grief". it was one of my phobias, nightmares, obsessions: a mother, molly, lost her two year old daughter after she choked on a miniscule piece of apple as they were pulling out of the church parking lot...after i cried my eyes out i thought of a few things... i am so LUCKILY BLESSED - angels have truly watched over my children.  when briar was just over three, i watched her nearly choke on a hard candy in our living room.  molly descibes how her daughter's eyes locked onto her's with a panic - i remember that look.  i remember performing the heimlich, after looking at my friend who was visiting, her words echoing in my head: i don't know...i don't know what to do! earlier, when she was just beginning to eat, i gave her the heimlich as an infant while she choked on wads of parsley.  i have given forceful back slaps to charles twice, and abdominal thrusts once...the most recent episode involved another one of those dreaded hard-candies  i had banned from our household.  he found a leftover from the candy parade i did not attend and was not aware of.  i was nursing henry in my bedroom and heard the tell-tale gagging and gasping, he was trying to make himself vomit. i leaped from the bed, leaving a startled henry squalling.  charlie was staggering around with tears streaming down his face. after one frozen moment that seemed like much longer, i pounded, thrusted, and it popped out like a rocket. 

now i'm remembering how robbed of my time i felt this evening when they refused to obediently shuffle off to bed.  i was resentful, crabby, and threatening when they asked for water (after being tucked in, of course).  don't get me wrong, they need to adhere to bedtime.  but i could have enforced it with more decorum and love.  for now, i have 4 beautiful, vibrant, demanding, often-precocious, imaginative, creative children that love me and depend on me.  i am their mother, their mother! i love the sound of calling myself that - linking us together eternally.  oh, it is good to be a mother.  it sweet to hold my babes close and smell their hair, cheek to cheek, and feel their weight on my lap and in my arms.  i have them here with me; my time is OUR time.  it is my season to give fully of myself.  i intend to be more grateful and less resentful in this coming year and all of those i have left with my children.  i intend to spend more time creating and sustaining "the peaceful, happy moments..." i want them to remember me for the "sunshine in my soul" instead of the crabbiness that has dwelt so often in my heart lately. they need more kind words and less sharp ones from these lips.  For truly, There is gladness in my soul today,
And hope and praise and love,
For blessings which he gives me now,
For joys “laid up” above.
that hymn sums up my dream for 2010.  who's with me? :)

it's beginning to smell a lot like christmas...

i thought i was set - i really did. all of the gifts i ordered from etsy showed up, minus one, and i think the seller is just kind of a butthead (just sayin'). wallyworld even had the walking/roaring dinos the boys asked for. the kids are packed for grandma's house. the spinach is defrosting for the dip i'll whip up soon. we watched the "mormon message" about the reason for christmas yet again. we baked up the batch of the nastiest looking, greasiest tasting sugar cookies i've ever sampled (don't use pillsbury to save time - it's not worth it!). i even plucked a few errant chin hairs. this morning i sent ryan to the store to get the chili powder i needed for the christmas eve chicken enchiladas. we didn't buy chicken last night at the cheaper chain grocery store while in the big city b/c i was ALL SET. i had 6+ chicken breasts waiting in my fridge. i plugged in the crockpot and grabbed the breasts: an a horrible odor wafted up to my nostrils when i pulled them out. i sniffed, i checked the "best by" date: dec. 18th. i sniffed again and almost ralphed into the crockpot. so i called ryan's mom and asked her advice on the chicken (i was obviously still in denial). so we're heading out, all 5 of us, to the grocery store to buy more, and ridiculously expensive - chicken breasts from the local market. i was so pleased the "mega pack" only set me back $14...and now it's in the trash. at least we get to perform the nativity this year with a real live baby. feliz navidad, amiguitos!